


Mark Me Up With the Bruises of a New Day

by sammysshampoo



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Jared, Christmas, Consensual Underage Sex, Foster Care, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, M/M, Non-Consensual Groping, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Touching, Porn, Porn With Plot, Spanking, Top Jensen Ackles, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking, Young Jared Padalecki, slutty!jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 22:30:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammysshampoo/pseuds/sammysshampoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen Ackles is a high school dropout whose only concern is taking care of his two young sisters after their parents unexpectedly passed away. Jared Padalecki is a teenager with a rebellious streak, brought up in the foster care system and unwilling to rely on anybody. When the two collide, neither know what to make of it, but as snow falls outside and Christmastime rolls around, they begin to figure it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM. I did the best research I could and I understand how they operate, but I could not find any sources that told what the children do during the day or how their scheduling is, so I took my best guess. If you know a bit more than I do, feel free to let me know and I may go back and edit things accordingly, but rude and/or accusatory comments feigning offensiveness will be ignored and deleted, and you will not get a reply. I did the best I could with what I found. Otherwise, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, readers! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, and enjoy the story!

         

 

 Jensen thought he was a pretty good brother. He didn’t _have_ to be standing in line at a crowded Target with an embarrassing cartful of Barbies and Littlest Pet Shop toys. He certainly didn’t _have_ to be clearing his throat and awkwardly drumming his fingers on the handle of the cart as people gave him odd offhand looks as they looked at him and then looked at his cart. No, he was doing this on purpose, simply because he knew how much it would make his kid sisters smile on Christmas. He scanned his items quickly when the woman in front of him finished bagging her groceries, stuffing them into the plastic bags and loading them back up in his cart. He glanced at the receipt and made a mental note to subtract the total from his bank account. He still needed to get paid Thursday, and what his parents had left for him and his sisters was nowhere near running out, but he liked to keep track of his finances anyway.

          His family, now reduced by two, was in his charge now, due to a tragic car crash that had ended his parents’ lives a year ago. He remembered the horror of it all too clearly, and it still ached whenever he passed his mother’s smiling face in the portrait on the mantle. However much he missed them, though, they were gone, and that meant it was his job to step up and finish raising his two younger sisters. He was grateful in one aspect, however: his parents had left a lot for him to work with, financially speaking. His father had been an extremely successful stockbroker, with his mother following as an accountant. The will had left their entire life savings in his name, with a house to boot. He hadn’t been able to claim ownership to anything until he turned eighteen, however, and that had included the responsibilities of his two sisters. He remembered how much he’d yelled and kicked when they were taken from him, now with no one to take care of them. “No!” he’d screamed when they were taken, straining against some official’s arms wrapped around his chest. “No, they’re my sisters, they’re my sisters, let me take care of them, _I can take care of them!”_ His pleas had gone unheard and his sisters were dumped in the foster care system until four months later, after Jensen had turned eighteen. He’d had to adopt them back, which was a bitterness he would never let go of.

          Now he walked outside the Target, pushing his cart laden with girl toys, pulling out his keys and unlocking his car. He’d very recently dropped out of school to take care of his sisters and work two jobs full time even though his financial situation was far from dire.

          The house was empty when Jensen returned, just as he knew it would be on a Tuesday afternoon on his day off. He hid the bags in the storage room in the basement, locking the door so it was safe from prying hands.

 

***

 

          Caitlin Ackles had struck upon a wonderful idea in the middle of her math lesson, and when the bell rang for the buses, she bolted to her sister’s classroom as fast as she could to get her. “Rebecca,” she said as they walked towards the parking lot where they knew Jensen’s car would be parked, waiting. “Do you ever miss Stacy from foster care?”

          “Sure,” Rebecca answered, her thumbs hooked in the straps of her backpack. “I miss Felix the cat more, though.” She looked up at her older sister, two grades ahead of her. “Why?”

          “I wanted to ask Jensen if we could go back and see her. For Christmas, you know. Get her a present, one that Santa wouldn’t think of.”

          “Santa thinks of everything,” Rebecca reminded her.

          “Whatever. I want to go see her. I miss her, and her cookies too.”

          Jensen was waiting in his usual spot for his girls, smiling at them as they hopped in the back and tossed their backpacks on the floor of the car. “Hi, girls,” he said, turning around to look at them. “How was school?”

          “Good,” they answered in unison. Jensen smiled and turned back around, turning the key in the ignition and backing out of the spot. Caitlin was quiet, afraid that Jensen would say no, until they were almost home. Then she gathered her courage and piped up.

          “Jensen, can we go see Ms. Stacy for Christmas?”

          Jensen furrowed his brow, glancing in the rearview mirror at his sister. “Who’s Ms. Stacy again?”

          “Ms. Stacy, from foster care, remember?”

          “Oh, yes,” Jensen said, putting on his left blinker. “I remember.” Stacy Quinton, nice woman, pretty red hair that flowed over her shoulders. She’d been kind to the girls, watching over them. Jensen was grateful to her. “You wanted to go see her? To say hi?”

          “Yes,” Caitlin said, nodding rapidly. “I want to get her a Christmas present.”

          Jensen thought for a minute. “I’ll have to head down to the building to find out when she’s working so we can stop by sometime,” he said, turning onto their street. “But yes, if you’d like, we can go see her. What did you have in mind for a gift?”

          That stumped Caitlin. “Cookies,” Rebecca chimed in. Caitlin shook her head.

          “No, dummy, Ms. Stacy already makes the best cookies. We can’t give her cookies.”

          Jensen pulled into the driveway and turned off the car, stepping out to open the door for them. “Why don’t you two think about it over your homework?” Caitlin and Rebecca groaned, but hefted their small backpacks over their shoulders and headed inside.

 

          The next day while they were at school, Jensen climbed into his car after work and drove down to the foster care building to inquire about Stacy’s working hours.

          “If it isn’t Jensen Ross Ackles,” the secretary declared as he walked through the door, smiling at him. “You, sir, caused quite a fuss the last time you were here.”

          “Hi, Dolly,” Jensen replied, not unkindly. “I don’t want to be any trouble, but do you know if Stacy is here?”

          “Sure, hon, I can go grab her. Why don’t you take a seat? I’ll be back.” She scurried off to find Stacy, and Jensen settled into one of the nearby chairs to wait. He drummed his fingers on his lap, looking around the room, trying to find ways to pass the time, when a loud crash from the other room made him jump. He stood up quickly as someone fell through the doorway, landing hard on his side as if pushed, his foot caught in the leg of a chair. As Jensen watched, the kid quickly flipped himself over onto his back, his hands jerking up in a defensive position. His cheek was cut and there was a nasty-looking bruise blossoming on his hip that Jensen could see when his shirt rode up. Before Jensen could walk over and help the kid up, though, another stepped through the doorway, standing over the kid on the ground and planting his shoe on his chest.

          “You think this is funny, Padalecki?”

          “I did, yeah, but I can see why you wouldn’t,” the kid under the shoe grunted, glaring up at his harasser, two hands wrapping around the ankle attached to the shoe, trying to push it off his chest. The other kid knelt down and fisted his hands into his shirt, yanking his head up off the floor so their faces were close.

          “I could kill you,” he hissed, spittle flying into the other kid’s face. “I could keep pressing until your chest cracked and your rib punctured your heart, and you’d be dead.”

          “Bite me,” the kid ground out. The other kid went red in the face and pushed down hard, smashing the other kid’s head into the floor. The kid on the floor cried out.

          _“Hey!”_ Jensen shouted. He’d seen enough, and he strode over to the kids, snatching the one by the shirt and shaking him. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?”

          The boy, clearly not expecting an intervention, paled. He looked about two or three years younger than Jensen, not nearly as tall as he was, and clearly not used to people standing up to him. He stammered as he tried to defend himself.

          “Get the hell out of here,” Jensen snapped, pushing him away so he stumbled. He scrambled away, and Jensen turned to help the kid on the floor only to find him pushing himself into sitting position, groaning and rubbing the back of his head. “Jesus, kid,” he said, reaching down to help pull him up. “What the hell just happened?”

          “I laughed when Cochlin tripped over the train tracks in the kids’ room,” the kid grumbled, reaching up to swipe at the cut on his face and smearing blood on his fingers. “He didn’t think it was that funny.”

          Jensen looked at him. “What’s your name?”

          “Jared,” the kid replied, touching the knot on the back of his head and bringing his fingers back around to check for blood. “Jared Padalecki.”

          “Jensen Ackles,” Jensen said, sticking his hand out to shake. Jared glanced at him, looking him up and down before cautiously shaking his hand.

          “Thanks for the rescue, though I probably could have handled it,” Jared shrugged, tugging down his shirt where it had ridden up and running his fingers through his hair. Jensen couldn’t help but notice the sharp features on his face, his hollow cheeks and candy-pink lips. There was a ring pierced to the leftmost side of his bottom lip. Jared cocked his head at Jensen, his hazel eyes catching the light as they squinted at him. “You’re not here to stay, are you?”

          “No,” Jensen said quickly. “God, no. I’m just checking to see if Stacy is here.”

          “She’s married,” Jared snorted, looking Jensen up and down. “Good luck with that.”

          “Jesus, kid, I’m not trying to get in her pants. I don’t even swing that way,” Jensen said easily. “I’m just trying to find out her work schedule. My sisters used to stay here, and they want to give her a Christmas gift.”

          Jared rolled his eyes. “Well, she’s not working today anyway,” he told him, leaning against the wall, seemingly unbothered by the line of blood that had begun to bead on the opening of the cut. “She took the day off. She’ll be back on Thursday. She works here from nine to five every day of the week except Saturdays and Sundays.”

          “Oh. Dolly said she would go get her for me.”

          “Are you kidding? Dolly doesn’t know shit about what goes on around here. She’s here to lie to child services and the health inspectors when they come knocking.”

          “Oh,” Jensen said again, shifting. He glanced down at Jared, who was staring intently up at him. “Thanks, Jared.” He turned to go, then looked back. “Hey,” he said, narrowing his eyes at Jared. “Don’t get into anymore trouble, you hear?”

          “I can handle myself.” Jared looked evenly at him, his hands in his pockets, gazing at his retreating back until Jensen had disappeared.

 

***

 

          Jared really wasn’t a troublemaker. He didn’t try to get into fights with the other boys, they just kind of happened. It helped that they didn’t like him much, and the fact that he was a sophomore and therefore an underclassman while the others were juniors or seniors contributed. He was only a few years younger than they were—sixteen—but it didn’t matter to the other boys. He had been in the foster home longer than any other kid here, and he’d learned it was better to be a loner than try to make friends with kids who would turn eighteen and leave. Most of the kids were eight or younger anyway, with only a handful that were older than he was. That handful, however, had banded together, and he was the outsider.

          He understood where they were coming from. Most of them came from bad families. His own mother had been a heroin addict, and he’d been taken from her at ten years old after they found him smoking weed in the school parking lot and investigated his bruises. She still tried to talk to him sometimes, coming by the building and trying to find him. Last time, he’d hidden in the bathroom and ended up climbing into the ducts so they wouldn’t find him. She’d left angry that day.

          Jared did go to school five days a week, maybe four if he skipped a day. He didn’t skip as much as he used to, however; when he did, the foster care would hear about it, and he would be beaten upside the head by Mr. Candara, the head of discipline who, quite frankly, freaked Jared out a bit. He’d caught him eying his ass before, and ever since that one discipline session where he’d heard him muttering dirty things under his breath as Jared was paddled, Jared did his best to stay out of trouble.

          That isn’t to say he was a great kid in school. He understood the lessons fairly well, and found the tests easy; he just wasn’t interested in history or math or science. He looked forward to his art class, and English wasn’t half bad, but he zoned out on everything else, scoring B’s and an occasional C. He doodled on himself in Sharpie as the teacher lectured, tattooing himself in black that would get him yelled at when he went back to the foster building at the end of the day.

          He didn’t have many friends in the high school; it was the second semester now and at this point, Jared knew attempting to make friends was pointless. He scared some people, he knew; he was getting freakishly tall for his age, towering over the girls and beginning to reach the height of a couple seniors at 5’10’’. He wore a dark maroon beanie that covered his hair and made it flip up in the back, attracting the attention of scowling teachers who yelled at him to take it off in the building. Last summer he’d called a favor from a friend and gotten his lip pierced with a small ring made of real silver; his touchstone, and his symbol of defiance that kept his spark alight. It made him look older, and it gave him an edge that both frightened and intrigued his peers. His backpack was loose on his back and he didn’t smile much, giving off an unfriendly vibe that drove people away. That was fine with Jared; he didn’t like social interaction, and spent the spare time in the hallway snapping his gum and walking through the halls to his next class, sliding down in his chair and pretending to pay attention. At the beginning of the year some of the new girls that had come from other schools ogled him, a fact that he wasn’t blind to, but as his peers from middle school were well aware of, he’d been out of the closet for almost two years now and no amount of cherry lip gloss was going to change his mind.

          Jared tried to spend as little time in the foster building as he possibly could, so he spent his free time outside school walking the streets and seeing if he could score any alcohol at local bars.

          Today he slipped out of the foster care building at six o’clock after his lukewarm supper, right under Dolly’s nose, the cut on his cheek barely visible now. He was itching for something to do, drama to cause, and he turned the collar of his jacket up against the cold December wind, snowflakes stinging his cheeks and turning them pink. It was already dark outside, and he knew that Mr. Candara was going to kill him, but he didn’t care. He wanted to get wasted.

          He found a nearby bar and ducked inside, shaking snow out of his hair and looking around. The bar was dark and it was loud, music blaring from somewhere above him. He shed his coat and undid a button on his shirt, knowing full well that his cheeks were pink from the cold and smooth as only a twink would keep them. He glanced around the bar, checking out his prospects, and his gaze settled on a guy in the corner chatting up the bartender—the male bartender. The bartender looked entirely uninterested, listening to the guy with a painfully polite smile on his face as he cleaned glasses, until finally he excused himself to take someone else’s order. Jared looked over the guy. Probably in his thirties, clean-cut, dark eyes that darted around hungrily as he sipped his beer. Perfect.

          Jared shook out his shoulders and began to make his way over to the guy, making as if to walk past him. He timed it perfectly, catching his foot on the guy’s stool and pitching forward. The guy jumped up, dropping his drink and catching Jared around the middle before he crashed to the floor. “Woah!” he exclaimed, righting Jared and laughing a little. “Are you alright?”

          “Yeah,” Jared answered, laughing with him and pushing his hair out of his face, blushing furiously. “I’m so sorry. I’m just so clumsy.”

          The guy was staring down at him, the smile still in place, looking down at Jared’s face like he was transfixed, his hand still resting on his hip where he’d caught him. “Can I get you a drink?” the guy asked, still smiling. Jared smiled too.

          “Sure.”

          He took a seat on the stool next to the guy. He stuck his hand out to shake. “My name is Jared.”

          “Randy,” the guy answered, flagging down the bartender and addressing him. “Round for my friend here. Something strong.”

          “You trying to get me drunk?” Jared teased, accepting the drink the bartender slid across the counter and taking a sip. It burned the back of his throat.

          Jared managed to flirt his way through a second drink, but he wasn’t just looking for alcohol anymore. Randy was friendly and extremely handsy, laughing loudly and letting his hand rest on Jared’s thigh, and he wasn’t too bad-looking. Maybe a little sleazy, but Jared would take it. “Do you want to get out of here?” he murmured, sliding closer to Randy.

          “I don’t know. Do you have a place in mind?” Randy muttered back, trailing his fingers along Jared’s thigh.

          “Yeah,” Jared replied, his voice silky. “Yours.” He winked at him, and Randy stood up, winding a hand around Jared’s waist and leading him out of the bar. Jared felt tipsy, leaning into Randy and letting the buzz fill his head.

          Half an hour later and he was being thrown onto a queen-sized bed, Randy crawling on top of him and slipping his shirt off his shoulders for him, tossing it to the floor and beginning to unbuckle his belt. Jared eagerly pushed his jeans off his hips, adding them to the pile on the floor until he lay naked in Randy’s bed. Randy wasn’t very good at foreplay, Jared mused, but he was still feeling the aftereffects of the alcohol so he would let it go. He threw his head back and moaned as Randy dipped his head down and licked at his hole, caring less about Jared’s pleasure and more about prep. He slid two fingers into him and scissored them around, opening Jared up, and Jared fisted the sheets in his hands, his cock hardening and bumping against his stomach muscles as Randy unwrapped a condom. Not even bothering with lube, Randy spat on his cock and lined it up with Jared’s hole, pushing in. Jared threw his head back and bit back a moan as he felt Randy push past the first ring of muscle. It burned a little at first, it always did, but he soon forgot about that as Randy began to move faster, his hands on either side of him and his mouth sucking bruises into his neck as he pounded into him. Jared lost himself in the pain, in the pleasure, the delicious rollercoaster of one and then the other, jolts of both interrupting each other as Randy slammed into him. He reached down and fisted his cock, moving up and down in time with Randy’s thrusts, until he cried out and came in messy spurts all over his stomach, just as Randy was coming down off his own orgasm. He pulled out, pulling the condom off and rolling over to catch his breath. After a moment of riding out the aftershocks, Jared rolled over and began to collect his clothing, wiping himself off with the bed sheets and sliding his legs into his boxers, redoing his belt and picking his shirt up off the floor.

          “Hey,” Randy called, and Jared halted. He looked back. Randy held out a twenty dollar bill. “There you go. Thanks.”

          Wordlessly, Jared took the money, pocketing it without thinking about it. He wasn’t a prostitute, of course he wasn’t, but hey, if this guy wanted to give him money, he was fine with that. He didn’t look back as he exited the building, setting off to find his way back to the foster building way past curfew and feeling the burn in his ass as he went.

          It was a good night.


	2. Chapter 2

           Jensen was back, this time with two little girls in tow. Jared watched him from his place at the table, looking up from his drawing. He was asking for Stacy again. Jared rolled his eyes and shaded something on the paper, trying to immerse himself back in the drawing. Who cares that Jensen was back? Not Jared.

         Still, he glanced up a little just to see if he would come in the right direction. This time, Dolly directed him correctly, pointing past Jared down the other hall where Stacy’s office was. As Jensen started to make his way over, with one of the little girls eagerly clutching a wrapped present in her small hands, Jared forced himself to look back down at the paper, tapping the end of his pencil on the table before making another mark on it. He was so busy trying too hard to focus on the drawing that it took him a moment to feel someone behind him, and he put his pencil down. Before he could turn, however, a hand had wrapped in his hair and forced his head down, slamming his cheek down onto the table, his skin smudging the graphite on his paper.

          “What’re you drawing, faggot?” Jared felt his cheeks heat up at Cochlin’s voice and kept his mouth shut. Cochlin gave his head a little shake. “Hey, _answer_ me when I talk to you, cocksucker.”

          “Fuck off,” Jared snapped, his cheek pressed into the table. Cochlin tightened his grip and Jared grunted a little in pain, reaching behind him to grip Cochlin’s wrists; not to pry them off, but to prevent his hair from being ripped out of his head as Cochlin dragged him out of his chair. Jared made a small sound in the back of his throat as he fell to his knees, his hands still holding on to Cochlin’s grip in his hair. He clenched his teeth and raised his knee, bringing it down hard on Cochlin’s foot. Cochlin let out a short yell and let go of Jared’s hair. Jared jumped to his feet, whirling around to face him, his hands in defensive position.

          “You fucking faggot,” Cochlin growled, and he lunged forward, throwing his arm out and delivering a mean punch to Jared’s jaw. Jared countered, ducking as he went in for another hit and kicked him hard in the stomach, jumping back as Cochlin tried to snag his leg and pull him off-balance. Cochlin snarled and advanced again, but before he could get another hit in, a bellow echoed throughout the room: “Boys!”

          Jared lowered his hands as Mr. Candara came storming in, grabbing Jared’s upper arm in a bruising grip. “Just what the hell,” he snarled, “do you think you’re doing?”

          Jared wasn’t dumb enough to answer him, and Mr. Candara gave him a shake. “Goddammit, Padalecki, I asked you a question!” Still Jared didn’t say anything. Mr. Candara made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and dragged him towards his office. Jared stumbled as he was hauled away, but before he could get too far, another voice rang out, an unfamiliar one: “Wait!”

 

***

 

          Caitlin had finally decided to make Ms. Stacy a treat, but not cookies. No, she and Rebecca slaved in the kitchen for hours to make the best darn brownies Ms. Stacy would ever taste, and Jensen was extremely proud of his sisters. They’d begged to come down here before Santa, so Jensen figured it wasn’t too early to give a Christmas present. Dolly had directed him to a room just past the main area where Stacy’s office presumably was. So with the girls in tow, Caitlin holding the brownies in her eager grip, he had started to walk in the direction Dolly pointed when he saw Jared. His heart leaped and it took him a split second to realize that it had, and his brow furrowed as he wondered why. Jared was hunched over a piece of paper, drawing, when the kid from the other day—Cochlin, Jensen believed he was called—came up behind him. Jensen swallowed as he watched the display unravel. He watched Jared’s lip curl and his features twist into a snarl, and he took a step forward to intervene. What he did not expect, however, was the full-out brawl that ensued, and instead of stepping in, he hid the girls behind him as the boys began to fight, knowing he couldn’t break it up without endangering his sisters. Jensen had to admire Jared’s stance and posture—he’d clearly had experience with this, and Jensen didn’t know if that was good or bad—but he was relieved when someone came to break it up. When he grabbed Jared and began to yell at _him,_ however, Jensen frowned. That didn’t seem fair; Jared hadn’t started it. He told himself it was probably a bad idea to get involved, so when Jared began to get dragged away and he’d shouted, he was just as surprised as Jared looked.

          “Wait!” he shouted, striding forward. He felt the girls close to him, probably afraid. “Wait a minute.”

          “What is it?” the man gripping Jared’s arm said gruffly. Jensen shifted a little.

          “It wasn’t his fault,” he said, gesturing to Jared. “Jared didn’t do anything.”

          The man snorted. “Don’t tell me how to do my job.” He began to haul Jared away again.

          “Wait a minute!” Jensen was angry now. “What are you going to do?”

          “I’m the discipliner. I’m going to discipline. If you don’t mind, I think you should keep your nose out of other people’s business and let me do what they pay me to do.”

          Jensen crossed his arms. “Why are you punishing a boy that didn’t do anything?”

          The man narrowed his eyes at Jensen, and Jensen didn’t break his gaze. “What do you care?” he snapped, not loosening his grip on Jared’s bicep.

          “It seems a little unjust, don’t you think?” Jensen wasn’t backing down, setting his jaw.

          “Whatever, buddy. You don’t have any authority here. Why don’t you take your girls there and stay out of it?” The man turned away, dragging Jared behind him and pulling him into a nearby room. There was a window on the door, and as Jensen watched, with his eyes narrowed and his hands clenched into fists, Jared was pushed into the corner to wait while the man rummaged through a drawer. Jensen couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scene, disgusted and furious as the same time, as the man pulled out a chair, manhandling Jared unnecessarily roughly to pull him over and bend him over his lap. The man clamped a hand over the back of Jared’s neck and forced his head to stay down as he lifted the paddle and smacked him over the ass with it, once, twice, three times. Jensen could see the little shudder that went through Jared every time he was smacked, and he could see Jared’s hands clenched in fists held at his chest as he was punished. At one point the man caught Jensen’s eye and crooked his mouth in a malicious grin before he brought the paddle down extra hard, causing Jared to jerk. Jensen felt like he was about to vomit.

          “Let’s go find Ms. Stacy,” he murmured to the girls, guiding them away from the scene. Ms. Stacy got her brownies, but Jensen couldn’t shake the feeling of revulsion and guilt that shrouded him as they left the foster building; Jared was still in the room, bent over the man’s lap, and Jensen swallowed down the feeling of bile that threatened to rise in his throat as he started the car.

 

***

 

 

          Mr. Candara was rough, rougher than he usually was. Jared didn’t know why Jensen had spoken up, but right now he was damning him to hell; he was sure Jensen was the reason why Mr. Candara was being so harsh.

          “See you walking around like you’re hot shit,” Mr. Candara hissed under his breath as he brought the paddle down. “Jesus, boy, you’re a fucking mess, you know that? Just a hot mess.” Jared winced as the paddle came down again and again, feeling his stomach churn as Mr. Candara began to talk dirty to him. He’d begun to expect it, but it didn’t make it any less vomit-inducing. “You’re my favorite to discipline, you know that? And you’re just always so badly behaved.” Jared squeezed his eyes shut and flinched at the smack. “Such a naughty boy.”

          Jared felt like he was going to be sick. But still he stayed, rigid in his place, bent over Mr. Candara’s lap like a slut as his greasy, dirty words slithered into his brain and stuck there, churning his stomach. After what felt like a millennia, Jared was released, his ass stinging and his face burning bright red. He quickly darted out to the main area, ignoring the sniggers from the other boys, snatching his drawing from off the table and retreating to his room, humiliation bubbling up inside him and threatening to burst. Angrily, he swiped his hand under his eyes, feeling tears fall against his will, and he curled up on his bed, crumpling up his drawing and burying his head in his pillow, staying that way until lights-out.


	3. Chapter 3

          Jensen tried very hard to forget about Jared and the scene at the foster care building. He knew he’d worried the girls when he’d gone upstairs without cooking dinner, telling them they should make themselves a bowl of cereal to eat instead. That had pleased them, and Jensen felt like a crappy guardian, but he needed some time to bury his head in his pillow and try to damp down the feeling of guilt he had crawling in his chest. He decided to go to bed early that night, getting changed into his pajamas and tucking the girls in before he turned off the lights, downing a couple of tablets of melatonin and crashing on his bed.

 

          It was Friday, and Jensen decided he needed a night for himself. He was nineteen now, nearly twenty, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a break from this life. So he hired a babysitter, checking her background and getting a thorough interview before he was convinced she was qualified to take care of his sisters. He still felt nervous as he left the house, but it got better as he drove towards the local bar.

          Jensen wasn’t technically legal age, but he’d had a fake ID for years now, and what’s two years? He’d drunk when his parents were still alive, but ever since he’d had to step up and become the role of the guardian he’d quit entirely. Tonight, though, he wanted to let loose a little.

          He sat at the counter and ordered a beer, nothing fancy; he didn’t want to be too buzzed to drive home. He sipped his beer and scanned the bar, taking a vague interest in all the variations of people. Then something caught his eye, and he nearly choked.

          Jared. That was _Jared,_ leaning against the wall near the pool table and watching the game with a half-hearted interest. There was another guy next to him, blond, leaning one arm on the wall and holding his drink in the other, chatting lively to Jared, who didn’t look like he was paying much attention to what the other guy was saying. Jensen was in shock. What the hell was Jared doing here? No way was he old enough to drink. Then again, neither was Jensen. But he was older than Jared was, goddammit.

          As he watched, the blond got handsier, touching Jared’s shoulders and tucking his hair behind his ear. Jared didn’t look impressed, looking the guy up and down skeptically, and Jensen felt a heat flare up in him. Who was this guy, hitting on a minor? Did Jared even know how illegal this was? Jensen couldn’t tear his eyes away as the guy leaned in and whispered something in Jared’s ear, nosing into his hair. Jared crinkled his nose but let the guy slide his arm around Jared’s waist, resting his palm on the small of his back. From Jensen’s position, he could see exactly where his hand was, and if he wasn’t mistaken it was slowly inching from the small of his back to just a bit lower. Jensen felt a surge of anger rise up in him, but Jared didn’t react. Maybe he didn’t feel it? But how—

          Suddenly there was a new guy standing behind Jared, and he was much blunter, rubbing his thumb on his bottom lip and looking Jared’s backside up and down appreciatively before reaching in and palming Jared’s ass without so much as a hello. Jared whirled around to face him, his eyes angry, and the guy took a step back, putting his palms up. Jensen watched as the blond pushed off the wall, snapping something at the guy and snaking an arm around Jared’s waist from behind him, yanking him towards him and not letting go. Jared turned his anger from the new guy to the blond, opening his mouth to speak, but evidently he was cut off as the new guy reached over and grabbed his hip, wrenching him out of the blond’s grip and into his own. Jared, alarmed now, began to actively struggle as he was tugged back and forth, trying to pull away from the grabs, but now the men were shouting at each other. The blond had him in an iron grip around the waist, and Jared struggled to push his arm off. The blond didn’t seem to notice, too engaged in an angry argument with the other man. Jensen stood up quickly, leaving his beer on the counter with a bill tucked underneath for the bartender to find and strode over to the fight.

 

 

***

 

          Jared hadn’t even wanted to hook up tonight. Hell, he didn’t even care much about getting drunk. He’d just needed to escape the foster home and this was the first place he thought of. He hadn’t thought much of it when the blond guy had started hitting on him and getting touchy; it’d happened before. As long as he was in control of the situation, he was okay with some wandering hands.

          “I like you, Jared,” the blond had whispered into his ear. “I think you and I make a great fit together, don’t you?”

          Jared rolled his eyes and kept watching the pool table in front of him. The game was getting interesting. The blond was persistent, going so far as to sidle up beside him until they were almost touching and circle his arm around his waist. Jared didn’t mind it much; he’d been picked up by less. He wasn’t dumb, either; he felt it when the guy’s hand started to travel lower. What he didn’t expect was the sudden grab, sending a jolt through his already raw ass as someone squeezed harder than necessary. The blond’s hand slipped off of the small of his back as he whirled around, facing another guy, darker-haired and taller than he was.

          “What the fuck was that for?” he snarled, feeling an immense satisfaction when the guy stepped back, palms up. He started to turn back around, satisfied, when he was suddenly grabbed at the waist by the blond—Vincent, his name was.

          “Hey, buddy,” Vincent snapped, holding Jared by the hip. “Why don’t you go find your own fucking pick-up? This one’s mine.”

          “Hey, wait a minute—” Jared protested, not liking the term of ownership. Before he could finish, however, he was being grabbed at again, this time getting pulled towards the new guy.

          “Yeah? Maybe I want this one,” the guy snarled, gripping Jared’s hip with a painful force. Vincent snatched at him, and Jared was yanked back towards Vincent again.

          “No way, asshole. I was here first, he’s mine.”

          “Maybe he doesn’t _want_ you!”

          “Maybe he doesn’t want _you!”_

          Jared was dizzy by the time he found himself crushed to Vincent’s side in a solid grip, held away from the reach of the other guy, who was now engaged in a loud shouting match with Vincent. They both seemed to have forgotten about him, but no matter how hard Jared pushed on Vincent’s arm he couldn’t relinquish the hold. He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes and tried to ignore the flood of distress that threatened to crash over him. He hadn’t wanted this tonight; all he’d wanted was to go out. So when a familiar angry shout echoed through the bar, he felt the pit of dread drop in his stomach.

          Why, _why_ did Jensen always show up when he was at his weakest? Why did it seem like Jensen was always rescuing him? He wasn’t a goddamn baby, for Christ’s sake. Jared wanted to cry.

 

***

 

          Jensen was angry. “What the fuck is going on here?” he yelled, throwing his hands up. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

          “There’s already two fighting over this one, buddy, go find your own,” the blond guy snapped, shaking Jared a little. Jensen glared daggers at him.

          “First of all, you piece of shit, that is a _person_ that you are fighting over, not a fucking toy,” he snarled. “Secondly, that person is a _fucking minor_ and I will have both of your asses _arrested_ if you don’t let him go right _fucking now.”_

They clearly hadn’t been expecting that, and the blond guy dropped Jared like he was suddenly burning hot. Jensen grabbed Jared’s wrist and pulled him away angrily, out of the bar and into the cold night. It was quiet outside, and so was Jared.

          Jensen pulled them to the side of the street, under a light, and gripped Jared’s shoulders. “Jared.”

          Jared didn’t answer, only tucked his head closer to his chest, covering his face with his hands. His shoulders were shaking. Jensen knew he was crying, and so he did the only thing he knew to do: he pulled him in for a hug, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and rubbing his back, his palm coming up to cup the back of his head and stroke his hair reassuringly.

          “Hey,” he said gently, his anger dissipating. “Jared. Look at me.” Jensen pulled Jared away from him and searched his face. Jared wouldn’t meet his eyes, but his face was red and his eyelashes were wet with tears. His eyes shone in the light of the streetlamp. Jensen spoke to him as if he were one of his girls who had come home in a sobbing mess. “Jared. I need you to tell me what’s wrong, okay? What happened? Why are you here?”

          Jared squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, crossing his arms tight over his chest and hugging himself as if he wanted to disappear into the snow. Jensen could see this was going to take awhile. He thought back to the scene at the foster home and knew that the right thing to do would be to take him back; it was clearly past curfew. “Do you want to come into the car where it’s warm?” he asked him instead. “I could take you back to my place, fix you up some cocoa or something if you’d like. Only if you’d like. I can take you back to the foster home if you want to go back there instead.”

          Jared looked up at him then, his eyes pleading as he shook his head no, please no. Jensen nodded, walking them over to his car and opening the passenger door for Jared. Silently Jared sat down, huddling closer to himself as Jensen walked around to the driver’s side. Jensen turned on the heat first before flipping on his headlights and backing out of the space, driving off into the night.

 

          The girls were happy to see him, but they quickly quieted down when they realized what a serious mood he was in, and that they had a guest—an upset guest. Jensen paid the babysitter and led Jared into the kitchen while Caitlin and Rebecca followed, curiosity getting the best of them. “Girls,” Jensen said quietly, not failing to notice how they stood gawking in the doorway. “Might I suggest you go play for a little bit?” The girls, noting his serious tone, quickly scampered off, leaving Jared and Jensen alone. Jensen found a pot and heated up some water, rummaging through the pantry to find the box of hot cocoa packets. He brought a cup over to Jared when it was done, topping it with a generous helping of whipped cream, and waited as he took a tentative sip. It was silent.

          “I’m not usually like this,” Jared murmured into his cup, not looking at Jensen. “I swear I’m not usually so goddamn helpless.”

          Jensen nodded, pulling a chair around to sit across from him. “I believe you,” he said simply. “You seem like a tough kid.”

          Jared’s eyes flicked up to him. “You’re not exactly an adult yourself,” he said behind his cup.

          “Hey, I’m older than you are.”

          “How old are you?”

          Jensen cocked his head. “Nineteen.”

          Jared snorted a little. “See? You’re not exactly a middle-aged man. Don’t call me kid like I’m some stupid ten year old that can’t handle himself.”

          “Fair enough.”

          It was quiet. Jensen couldn’t push the scene at the foster care out of his head, and he grappled with the idea of asking Jared about it. “Does that happen a lot?” Jensen asked finally. “With the unfair punishing, I mean. At the foster home.”

          Jared was silent before he sighed. “No,” he answered. “Not with the other kids.”

          “Why? Why does he focus so much on you?”

          Jared winced a little, thinking of the dirty words that spilled from Mr. Candara’s mouth. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, taking another sip of cocoa.

          “There has to be something,” Jensen prompted. “What’s his problem?”

          “He’s a cruel bastard.”

          That ended the discussion fairly quickly. “Alright,” Jensen finally said slowly. “So what about tonight? Why in the world are you at a bar? And how in the hell did you get in?”

          Jared gazed at him, setting down his cup. “How did _you?”_

          Jensen flushed a little. “Not the point,” he grumbled, but let it drop.

         

          They didn’t speak for awhile, until Jared had almost finished his cocoa. “I don’t want to go back,” he said quietly, breaking the silence. “I don’t want to go back there, ever.”  
          Jensen felt a stab of sympathy for him. “When’s your curfew?”

          Jared snorted. “It was a long time ago. They don’t care, they don’t check.” He shook his hair back, out of his eyes, and Jensen felt a strange swooping sensation in his lower stomach. Jared rested his head in his hand, running a finger absently along the wood of the table. His eyes were a strange color, green with almost bluish flecks, and Jensen was mesmerized. Jared glanced up at him, noticing him staring. “What?”

          Jensen shifted a little. “Nothing.”

          Jared played with the handle of his mug. “I promise I’m not some frail thing that constantly needs rescuing,” he said. “It’s just been you. I don’t know why it’s always you, but I swear when you’re not there I handle myself. I would have been able to handle that situation back at the bar just fine.”

          “Yeah? He had you trapped. How exactly were you going to get out of that?”

          Jared shrugged. “I probably would’ve told him I would sleep with him, just to get him away.”

          Jensen frowned. “Would you have actually slept with him?”

          “Sure.”

          Jensen recoiled at that, and opened his mouth to say something. Jared interrupted him. “Don’t start with the whole ‘you’re too young to have sex’ bullshit, Jensen. I’ve heard it before.”

          Jensen shrugged. “Fair enough.” Curiosity got the best of him. “When did you start?”

          “When I found out I was gay.”

          “Really.”

          “Don’t,” Jared said, his eyes darting down and his hands flying up as if expecting a blow. “Don’t say it.”

          “Say what?”

          Jared opened his eyes. “Don’t give me the whole _it’s-a-sin_ thing. Call me a faggot, you know. Just don’t. I’ve heard it already.”

          Jensen crooked a smile at him. “I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I told you how wrong it was to be gay, now wouldn’t I?”

          Jared blinked a little, visibly relaxing as his words sunk in. “Oh.”

          Jensen smiled and glanced at the clock. “I should probably go put my sisters to bed,” he said, standing up and stretching. “It’s getting late.”

          Jared stood up too. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry. I can walk, it’s not that far from here.”

          Jensen frowned. “Where are you going?”

          Jared cocked his head at him. “Back to the foster building. I’m sorry for interrupting your night, I can go while you’re putting your sisters to bed. Thanks for the ride and the rescue and everything.” Jared flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry to ruin your night out.”

          “Jared, you didn’t ruin anything. I’m certainly not about to let you walk back to the foster home. It’s a ten-minute drive to get there. I can’t imagine how cold it will be to get there on foot. Since you said the curfew was over awhile ago and they aren’t scouring the streets trying to find you, I was thinking you could just spend the night here and sneak back in tomorrow morning.” Jensen felt a little spark of hope flare up as he noticed how Jared’s eyes lit up. “The only problem is that we don’t usually have guests,” Jensen explained apologetically. “You’d have to sleep in my bed, with me. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of room,” Jensen assured him, “but I just wasn’t sure if you would be comfortable with that.”

          Jared’s smile lit up the room. “That’s completely fine.”

 

          Jensen lent him a pair of pajamas to wear and a toothbrush to use and tucked the girls in while Jared changed and brushed his teeth. Jensen found him standing in the middle of his bedroom in his pajamas and socks when he emerged from the bathroom, his arm crossed over his chest to hold onto his bicep, looking very much like a lost puppy. Jensen smiled a little and walked to his side of the king-sized bed, slipping in under the covers and patting the other side. Jared padded over to the bed at the invitation, joining Jensen under the covers.


	4. Chapter 4

          Jared was nervous, and he wasn’t sure why. He’d been in bed with more men than he could count; why should he feel nervous about this one? They wouldn’t be having sex, sure, but there was still no reason to be so nervous.

          So why was he?

          He slid under the covers with Jensen, snuggling down into the depths of the soft, fluffy mattress that was nothing like his bed in foster care. Jensen clicked off the light and the room fell into darkness. Jared could feel Jensen shifting next to him, and he curled in on himself, suddenly wanting Jensen to turn around and sweep him up in a hug, let him rest his head on Jensen’s chest, pull him up close so their cocks bumped through their pajama pants…

          He turned over, clenching his teeth. Jensen wouldn’t want that. Jared was just a kid to him. A dumb, snot-nosed kid who couldn’t take care of himself, that’s all Jared was to Jensen.

          Jared was almost asleep when he felt something warm curl around his waist and pull him close in a tight hug. “You are so beautiful, Jared,” he heard Jensen murmur, almost inaudibly, and his heart leaped. He didn’t dare move, even breathe, for fear that he would ruin the moment. Did Jensen think he was asleep? “God. How did someone like you end up with such a shitty life?” Jensen pulled him closer, pressing his chest into Jared’s back and keeping his arm looped around his middle. “I wish I knew how to help you.” Jared didn’t dare move, praying that Jensen would stay like this until they fell asleep, but to his dismay he felt Jensen squeeze once and begin to retract his arm. Without thinking, he raised his hands and seized Jensen’s forearm, holding it in place. He felt Jensen start a little and feared he’d went too far, but Jensen simply curled his arm back around and pulled him in tight. Jared waited, tensed, until he was sure Jensen wasn’t going anywhere before he sighed contentedly, burrowing his head back into the pillow and letting his eyes flutter shut.

 

***

 

          Jensen wasn’t sure what had possessed him to touch Jared at all. He couldn’t sleep, thinking of everything he’d witnessed, bad feelings clawing at his stomach and telling him that he was powerless to help. Jared belonged to the foster care system, and how they decided to treat him was none of his business.

          Without meaning to, Jensen had reached out and wrapped his arms around Jared’s middle, pulling him in. He hadn’t thought about it; the only thing he could think was that he wanted to help Jared, comfort him somehow. He listened to Jared’s even breathing and knew he was asleep, so he didn’t feel strange about voicing his thoughts.

          “Jesus,” he croaked, squeezing Jared tight in a one-sided hug. “I just wish I could do something.” His conscious kicked in, reminding him that touching Jared while he was asleep was more than a little predatory, and was definitely nonconsensual. So when Jared’s hand shot out and held his arm in place, Jensen jumped a little. Eventually he relaxed; clearly Jared wanted his arm there, otherwise he wouldn’t have stopped him from moving. Jensen tugged him closer, pressing his chest into Jared’s back, feeling his shoulder blades move as he sighed, shifting in the dark.

         

         

          When Jensen woke up the next morning, Jared was sitting on the edge of the bed with his face buried in his hands. He sat up quickly. “Jared?”

          Jared let out a loud sigh and ran his fingers through his hair, staring at the floor.

          Jensen went around to his side of the bed to face him. “What’s the matter?” Jared shook his head, not looking at him, and Jensen’s heart sank a little as he thought of last night. Did he do something wrong? What if Jared didn’t want that? “Jared.” Jensen didn’t touch him. “Jared, please tell me what’s wrong. Was it last night? Did I do something?” Jared quickly shook his head.

          “No,” he said, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “No, that wasn’t—Last night was fine. Great. I just—Yeah. Don’t worry about it. I just…” Jared trailed off, then sighed. “I’m just not looking forward to going back to the home, that’s all. Mr. Candara is going to have my ass for not coming back.”

          “I thought you said they don’t check.”

          “Oh, they don’t,” Jared agreed. “Sometimes Candara does, though. At least for me.”

          Jensen was quiet. “Well,” he said finally, “I know the right thing to do would be to deliver you back to the foster home—” Jared’s eyes flicked up to his, wide and worried, before Jensen continued, “but my moral ethics are telling me we should prolong that as long as possible.” Jared visibly relaxed, and Jensen smiled at him. “So,” he said, standing up, “what do you want for breakfast?”

          Jared started a little, like he wasn’t expecting that. “Breakfast?”

          “Yeah, breakfast,” Jensen said, smiling a little. “You know, most important meal of the day.”

          Jared flushed a little. “Anything.”

          Jared stood up, his lip ring glinting in the light that peeked from the blinds on Jensen’s window. Jensen had to shake himself a little to tear his gaze away from Jared’s face.

 

          Caitlin and Rebecca joined them for breakfast. Jared was tentative with them, clearly not sure how to handle children, but he took their antics in stride, even when they asked him to come play house with them. “You can be the brother!” Caitlin announced, waving her fork around in the air.

          “Caitlin, careful with the silverware,” Jensen reminded her. “Why don’t you and Rebecca put your dishes away and maybe Jared can come play with you later?” The girls agreed and scampered away.

          “They’re sweet,” Jared said softly, watching them go. “You must feel lucky to have them.”

          Jensen nodded. “I do,” he said simply. He began to clear the table, and Jared stood to help. “Sit down, Jared.” Jensen gave him a crooked smile over his shoulder as he began to wash the dishes. Jared sat back down.

          It was quiet before Jared cleared his throat. “Well, thanks for breakfast and letting me stay over,” he said. “I can find my way back from here. Thanks for everything.”

          Jared wanted to stay, he did, but he knew that he’d brought enough upon Jensen. Jensen probably could have gotten in a lot of trouble for this, and Jared didn’t want to burden him further.

          Jensen furrowed his brow. “You want to go?”

          _No,_ Jared thought. “Yeah, I guess so.” Jensen frowned, elbows deep in the sink, the sunlight giving his bright green eyes a shine that wasn’t there earlier. Jared gazed at him, taking in his muscular back and tanned skin, wondering what it would feel like to press his lips to Jensen’s full ones. And then he shook his head and stood up, leaving the room quickly before he did something stupid.

          Jared knew he was being idiotic. Jensen was mature, collected, clean-cut—everything that Jared was not. Jared was just a kid, and he had no business interrupting Jensen’s life. He may have thought he felt something last night, but he brushed it off; it was just Jensen’s protective side coming out, he was sure of it. He wasn’t attracted to Jared, he just felt bad for him. So Jared flipped the collar of his jacket up and went to the door.

          “Wait, Jared,” Jensen called, padding into the foyer, his hands soapy. “Can’t I drive you somewhere?”

          Jared shrugged. “I don’t know where I’m going yet.”

          “That’s okay,” Jensen pressed, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Can I at least drive you into town? It’s snowing, man.”

          “It’s not that far a walk.” Jared was getting twitchy now. All he wanted was to leave and find something to make him forget about this pretty boy standing in front of him with glittering green eyes and tousled blonde hair that was miles out of his league. “Thanks for everything,” he said again, and zipped up his jacket, sweeping out the door.

 

***

 

          Jensen was surprised and, quite frankly, a bit hurt. He hadn’t wanted Jared to go so quickly. He was hoping to spend the day getting to know more about him, learning about his past and earning his trust. Disheartened, he went back to the kitchen to finish washing the dishes, his thoughts littered with images of dark, floppy hair and glinting lip rings.


	5. Chapter 5

          Snow flew into Jared’s face and his fingers felt numb, but his pride prevented him from walking back to Jensen’s house and asking for that ride. He was itching for a buzz, something that would sink him low, deep beneath the mess of feelings and bright green eyes and strong hands. He had a few connections, ones that he didn’t use often, but when he did he knew he was desperate. He headed towards the first name he thought of, praying he was home.

 

          “Padalecki.” Lyle gave Jared a slow once-over before letting him in and closing the door behind him.

          “Lyle. I know it’s been awhile,” Jared said, rubbing his hands together to get some feeling back into them. Lyle snorted and sauntered into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of vodka by the neck and splashing a generous amount into two shot glasses, holding one out for Jared.

          “Awhile? It’s been fucking forever. Where have you been, man?”

          “I’ve been busy,” Jared said defensively. He threw his head back and grimaced as the vodka burned his throat. He shook himself and held his glass out for another. Lyle grinned crookedly as he refilled it.

          “So are you just here for old times’ sake, or did you have something else in mind?”

          Jared threw back the second shot and jerked his head to clear it before striding forward and seizing Lyle by the collar, pulling him down and crushing their lips together, suddenly starving for touch, any touch. Lyle responded by setting the bottle down and grabbing Jared’s hips tight. When Jared pulled away there was a new, more malicious glint in Lyle’s eyes, and Jared almost sighed in anticipation. _Make me forget about Jensen._

          Jared found himself lifted in the air and thrown over Lyle’s shoulders. There was nothing sweet or romantic about the way he was carried; more like he was property, ready to be used. And Jared liked it.

          Lyle threw him onto his bed roughly, crawling between Jared’s legs and tearing his shirt open, pushing the fabric off his shoulders before reaching down to work at his belt, tossing both on the floor. He made a low sound in his throat as he undid Jared’s jeans, pushing them down and off to pile at the foot of the bed. Jared felt the low swoop of exhilaration as he was stripped, completely at Lyle’s mercy. Lyle paused before he grinned slyly. “Hey,” he said, shuffling backwards a few feet. “Want to make this more interesting?” Jared used his elbows to prop himself up. Lyle knelt down and rummaged under the bed, pulling out a container.

          Next thing Jared knew he was rolling blunts, not even bothering to put his clothes back on, flicking on the lighter and lighting the end of his joint. He took a long drag, holding the smoke in his lungs before breathing it back out. It wasn’t exactly high-quality weed, but he could feel it mixing with the vodka, sending him higher than it usually did. He giggled a little. Lyle only took a few drags before he was getting back up, pushing Jared back onto the bed and crawling over him.

          Lyle was rough. It was one of the things that both excited Jared and unnerved him about him. When Lyle got down and dirty, he went all the way.

Lyle growled low in the back of his throat, holding Jared down and digging into his hips with his thumbs hard enough that Jared knew he there would be dark purpling bruises that he would feel for days after. Jared’s cock twitched and rose until it was curving up to his chest, but Lyle didn’t pay any attention to it. “You were always my favorite fuck, Jared,” Lyle growled, seizing his wrists and pulling them up above his head, and Jared barely registered the satiny ribbons securing his wrists to the headboard. He could still taste the vodka in his throat, making the weed stronger, and he giggled a little as Lyle tied his ankles down too, the fabric tickling. Jared tried to move and when he found he couldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to be concerned, only wiggling his hips a little to get more comfortable on the rough sheets. Lyle crooked a grin and pulled out a small container of lube, only drizzling out a tiny amount before clicking the cap closed. This wasn’t about pleasure. This was about feeling, in any way Jared could.

          Lyle reached under Jared and didn’t waste any time, shoving two fingers into him without as much as a warning. Jared’s breath hitched at the small burn, and he arched his hips up to get them deeper. Lyle’s fingers brushed at his prostate and Jared gasped, squeezing his eyes shut and bucking his hips, but Lyle pushed him back down, holding his hip with one hand and digging his thumb into it until Jared whimpered in pain. The small noise of hurt went through Lyle’s ears and straight to his cock, and he dug his thumb in deeper, stabbing a third finger into him and scissoring around roughly. Jared couldn’t help but cry out, not opening his eyes, letting the pain wash over him, grounding him, securing him in his place. Lyle slid his fingers out and lined his cock up with Jared’s hole, pushing in hard and fast. Jared’s cry was caught in his throat as Lyle bent over him, teeth sinking into the flesh between his neck and shoulder, biting purple marks into his collarbone. His hand came up and his fingers knotted themselves in Jared’s hair, yanking his head back and baring his throat for him to suckle hickeys onto. Jared kept his eyes closed, letting himself feel Lyle all over, biting, squeezing, and he felt euphoric, like he was floating on nothing but pain and the bitter fumes of pot. He let himself sink into it, feeling the burn and the sting and the ache all over himself, until he was dead to anything else.

 

***

 

          The girls had insisted on doing their Christmas decorating tonight. “It’s almost Christmas, Jensen,” Rebecca complained, and Caitlin nodded alongside her sister.  “We need to do decorating!”

          Jensen wasn’t really feeling in the mood, especially not after Jared’s abrupt leave that morning, but he agreed anyway, knowing that it would make his girls happy. He hung stockings and strung up lights with them until the house was completely decked out and the girls were satisfied. “Now we need a tree,” Caitlin announced. Jensen nodded tiredly.

“Go get your boots and coats.”

          The girls raced to the garage and scrambled into the back seat, buckling their seatbelts and giggling about something that Jensen didn’t quite understand, but nonetheless he flicked on the headlights and backed out of the driveway, heading towards the Home Depot.

          Jensen wished he could say they got their tree at a nice farm in the countryside, but he couldn’t. Instead, he’d made it a habit to pick up a tree from the local Home Depot. The girls didn’t seem to mind, and they were almost always the only people in the greenhouse.

          “Caitlin, come look at this tree!” Rebecca called, putting her hands in the needles. “Jensen, let’s get this one.”

          “I like this one,” Caitlin agreed, petting it with her mitten-clad hands. So Jensen wrapped it up.

          They got it back to their house, scattering pine needles all over the carpet as they secured it in the corner of the living room. Jensen brushed off his hands and put them on his hips. “Do you want to go get water for it?” he asked the girls, and eagerly they ran to find a pitcher while Jensen trudged downstairs to the basement to find their box of tree decorations. While he was lugging them up the stairs, he glanced out the window and nearly fell all the way back down.

          Someone was looking in.

 

***

 

          Jared walked carefully through the streets, wincing as a jolt of pain shot through him with every footstep. His shoes crunched in the snow, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. The sun was setting and the temperature was dropping fast. Jared could feel the ache of bruises blooming on his hips and collarbone, bite marks embedded in his shoulder and chest, hickeys standing out on his neck, dark and purpled. He felt stripped raw, and reveled in it. The pain was his friend. The pain meant he was alive.

          He didn’t exactly know where he was, but that was okay. Hell, if he got lost, that was only better. The snow was a bitch, but it beat being back at the foster care. Although, Jared thought as he walked, this street did seem a little familiar. He didn’t pay much attention to it; after he’d left Lyle’s, thoroughly used and worn out, covered in the marks of a good fuck, he’d just walked.

          He passed windows, the light inside glowing bright and orange, looking infinitely warmer inside the houses than outside where Jared was. Jared couldn’t help but look inside as he walked.

          Jared didn’t think about his family a whole lot. As far as he was concerned, he had no family. His mother was a deadbeat heroin addict who beat him within an inch of his life until child services came to take him away. His father was a person that Jared hardly knew, had barely met. He had a vague memory of a tall man in a dark leather jacket that came by when he was five years old, looking him over coldly before turning away and saying, “That’s not my son.” His mother had cried and drank herself into a stupor, leaving him to huddle in the corner of the room, surrounded by the fumes of alcohol, hungry and scared. Family hadn’t brought much happiness into Jared’s life, and he didn’t feel like he was missing out on much. Still, he felt a sort of aching loneliness as he peeked into the windows of houses, watching families eat dinner and laugh and talk. Why couldn’t he have had that? What had he done that made him so undeserving of a casual family dinner every night?

          Jared turned away from the glass, walking down the street, past windows that were dark, until he came to the next lighted one. Jared meant to keep walking, but something made him stop. He peeked in and he had to swallow to stop the sudden stab of crushing loneliness that made the back of his eyes sting.

          There was a Christmas tree sitting up in the living room of the window. It didn’t look decorated yet, but through the glass he could hear soft Christmas music playing in the background, and the room was strung with Christmas lights. A wreath hung over the mantelpiece, just above the fireplace, and there were three stockings hung in a neat row.

          Jared hadn’t celebrated Christmas in a long time. The foster care didn’t have enough in the budget for gifts, and the most he’d gotten was a “Merry Christmas, Jared,” tossed over the shoulder of one of his teachers. Last Christmas, he’d gone to the library and drawn until one of the nice librarians came to tap him on the shoulder and tell him they were closing. He’d nodded, standing and picking up his pencils. “That’s a lovely drawing,” the librarian had said shyly, smiling tentatively. “You’re very talented.” Jared had been taken aback and forgotten to reply before she’d moved on to tell the next lonely person at the table beside him the library was closing. It was one of the best Christmases Jared had ever had.

          Now he looked in at this picture-perfect home decked out in lights and candles and sighed. What would his life have been like if he had been raised to a different life, one with Christmas trees and candles and stockings? He gazed longingly inside the house, feeling the achingly cold chill of winter shudder through him before he went to turn away, and caught the eye of someone coming up the stairs with a large box. His heart jumped to his throat.

          _Jensen._ He _knew_ this street had looked familiar. It felt different in the dark. “Shit,” he said aloud, his voice breaking a little, and turned briskly away from the window.


	6. Chapter 6

          Jensen couldn’t believe his eyes at first; Jared’s face had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. “Hey!” He dropped the box of ornaments and bolted towards the door, yanking it open and feeling the rush of cold air through the thin material of his shirt. “Hey, wait! Jared!”

          He could see Jared’s retreating frame, and opened the screen door, stepping outside in just his socks. Jared froze. “Jared!”

          Jared turned around to face him slowly. “Oh,” he said, his voice small. “Jensen. Hi.”

          “What are you doing out here?” Jensen asked, hopping from one foot to the other and rubbing his arms. “It’s fucking freezing.”

          Jared watched him sympathetically. “You should get back in the warm,” he said, not unkindly. Jensen nodded.

          “Yes, and so should you. Why are you out here?”

          Jared shrugged. “I have nowhere else to go.”

          “You should come inside!” Jensen leaned forward and tugged at Jared’s wrists. “You left really quickly this morning,” he said, pulling him forward and leading him back to the house. Jared didn’t try to stop him, feeling a tiny swoop in his belly despite himself. “I was disappointed that you didn’t stay longer.”

          _Just his protective streak,_ Jared reminded himself. “Sorry,” he said, stepping over the threshold and scattering snow on the rug. “There were people I needed to see, things I needed to do.”

          Jensen shut the door, shaking snow out of his hair and striding back over to the box he’d dropped. “Well, I’m glad you’re here,” he said, sounding genuinely happy. He lugged the box into the living room and set it down in front of the tree, letting out a short breath before turning to Jared and really looking at him. Slowly, his grin faded as Jared stepped into the light and Jensen got a good look at him. Jared was a little confused at the sudden look of concern morphing Jensen’s features, and he recoiled a bit as Jensen suddenly stepped close to him. He flinched a little as Jensen reached up and pressed his fingers gently against the hickeys marking his neck.

          “What are these?”

          “You’ve never seen a hickey before?” Jared tugged away from Jensen’s touch and pulled his jacket collar up defensively. He felt the heat of a blush creep up his neck, which was odd; he was usually never embarrassed about people finding out about his sex life. Actually he was proud of it, in a way. With Jensen, however, that was evidently not the case, and suddenly Jared felt like curling in on himself. “What about it?”

          Jensen flushed a bit. “Sorry, I just—were those there yesterday?”

          “No.” Jared’s voice was flat.

          Jensen let it drop, instead turning and bending to rummage through the box of ornaments. He pulled out a long strip of tinsel, winding it around in his hands before tossing it onto the tree. Where were the girls?

          Jared was gazing around the room almost hungrily, taking in all the Christmas decorations and the sweet smell of evergreen from the tree. Jensen looked up at him, smiling a little at the wondrous expression written plain on Jared’s face, and he straightened, holding his hand out to him. “Hey, Jared.”

          Jared looked up, saw Jensen standing with his hand outstretched, a soft smile on his face. “Do you want to help me decorate the tree?”

          Jared’s eyes went wide and he felt something like excitement flare up inside him before he could damp it down. He shed his jacket and went to stand at Jensen’s side, twisting his fingers together nervously. “I don’t know how.”

          “I can show you. It’s not hard.” Jensen handed him an end of the tinsel. “Here. Tuck this end between these branches so it doesn’t move, see? Now you just wind it around the tree. Not hard at all.” With Jensen guiding him, Jared moved in a circle around the tree, looping the tinsel in a line that twirled up to the top.

          “Now we do the same thing with the lights.”

          Jensen watched Jared move, not failing to notice how bright his eyes were as he twined the lights around the tree, this boy so clearly used to living rough suddenly seeming so light and childlike as he decorated. Jensen guessed that Jared had never decorated a Christmas tree in his life. He watched him flip his hair out of his eyes as he looked up, stretching his arms to make the string of lights reach to nearly the top of the tree, the shadows playing across the hollows of his cheeks and making his eyes shine. Jensen smiled and bent down to the power switch. “Now watch.”

          With a click, the lights flickered to life, and Jared clutched his hands together and smiled wide at his handiwork despite himself. Jensen did a double take as he realized: Jared had dimples. He’d never seen Jared smile before, and Jared had dimples.

          Jensen stood up slowly, approaching Jared, who was still smiling and gazing at the lights. Jared looked at him, the smile slipping from his features as uncertainty took hold. “Did I do something wrong?”

          “No,” Jensen reassured him, and then couldn’t help himself; he reached up and brushed the backs of his fingers against Jared’s cheek. “You have dimples,” he said, almost wondrously. Jared blinked and didn’t say anything. His dimples had disappeared, but Jensen kept his fingers on Jared’s cheek. “You have the best smile I’ve ever seen,” Jensen said quietly, moving so he was cupping Jared’s jaw. Jared didn’t smile, but he gazed up at Jensen, his face expressionless. His heart was pounding.

          _Screw this,_ Jensen thought, and leaned down to press his lips to Jared’s.

 

          It took a second for Jared to fully comprehend what was happening. He froze for a moment, not sure what to do, then his eyes fluttered shut and his hands moved to slide around Jensen’s middle. Jensen’s fingers slipped around so they were gently twined in the curls at the nape of Jared’s neck. When they pulled away, Jared’s eyes were shining and he gazed up at Jensen. Neither of them spoke. Then Jensen tugged him forward and kissed him again, like he was checking that it had really happened. Jared clutched at Jensen’s back and kissed him back.

 

 

***

 

          “Rebecca!” Caitlin hissed, crouching behind the entranceway into the living room. _“Rebecca!”_

          “What?” Rebecca came around the corner, holding a cookie in her hand, but went quiet when Caitlin put a finger to her lips. Caitlin beckoned her.

          “Quiet.” Rebecca crouched down next to Caitlin. Without speaking, Caitlin pointed into the living room.

          Wide-eyed, Rebecca watched as Jensen helped the mysterious boy who didn’t smile put the Christmas lights on the tree— _her_ tree! She opened her mouth to protest that _Jensen_ was supposed to do the lights, not this stranger, but Caitlin nudged her and shook her head. So Rebecca just watched as Jensen knelt down and clicked the lights on.

          _He smiles!_ Rebecca thought, a wide smile spreading on her own face as she witnessed the boy’s obvious delight. But wait; now Jensen had a strange look on his own face. Was the boy’s smile not good enough for him? She watched and waited.

          Suddenly the two were very close to each other, and she heard Caitlin suck in a breath as Jensen leaned in and kissed him. _Kissed_ him! Rebecca’s eyes went wide and she couldn’t tear her gaze away, until Caitlin tugged at her sleeve. Caitlin had stood, pressing a finger to her lips, and she quietly tiptoed away. Rebecca followed her, quiet as a mouse, until they were safely out of earshot in Caitlin’s room.

          “I can’t believe this!” Caitlin gasped once the door was shut. She began pacing around the room. Rebecca watched her, nibbling at her cookie.

          “Can’t believe what?” Rebecca brushed crumbs off of her cheek, and Caitlin stopped pacing, turning to look at her.

          “Rebecca, Jensen is downstairs _kissing_ someone.” Caitlin was smiling wide, and she sat down in front of her younger sister. “Don’t you know how great this is? Don’t you see how sad Jensen always is now? Ever since—” Caitlin lowered her voice. “Ever since Mom and Dad, Jensen has been so sad.”

          “At least he smiles,” Rebecca said, thinking of the boy downstairs.

          “Yeah, but they aren’t real happy smiles,” Caitlin said, standing up again. “Remember when the boy downstairs first came over? Jensen smiled. I mean _really_ smiled. He hasn’t smiled like that since before the accident.”

          “He smiles at us.”

          “He _has_ to smile at us. We’re his sisters. He has to be happy around us, it’s practically a law.”

          Rebecca stuffed the rest of the cookie in her mouth and frowned. “I still don’t get it. The boy downstairs doesn’t smile. Why would Jensen be happy around a boy that doesn’t smile?”

          Caitlin shrugged and looked away thoughtfully.

          “Maybe he’s the only one who can make him smile.”


	7. Chapter 7

          Jensen went over to the speakers and turned the music up a notch, glancing back over to Jared and smiling. Jared was shifting, for the first time in his life feeling shy.

          “This was my favorite when I was little,” Jensen said as the song switched and soft music drifted out of the speakers. He walked back over to Jared and stood close to him, resting his hands on Jared’s hips. Jared, on instinct, raised his arms and settled his hands around Jensen’s neck. Jensen smiled a little, and Jared’s heart pounded as Jensen gently began to move. “Not a big dancer?” he chuckled, not taking his eyes away from Jared’s.

          “I’ve never danced before in my life,” Jared confessed, swallowing as he tried to keep in time with Jensen. “I didn’t go to any of the dances in school.”

          “Why not?”

          Jared shrugged a little. “I couldn’t pay for the ticket. And besides, it isn’t like I would have had a whole lot of friends to go with anyway.”

          Jensen nodded. “High school is rough.”

          “Let’s not talk about school.”

          “Deal.” Jensen leaned down and pressed his lips to Jared’s again, harder this time. Jared kissed him back, pulling Jensen even closer and closing his eyes. He felt his lip ring bump against Jensen’s full bottom lip and get pushed to the side as Jensen kissed him harder. Jensen let the tip of his tongue run along Jared’s bottom lip, tasting the metal of the lip ring as he grazed it. Jared flushed as Jensen pulled away.

          “I can take it out if you want.”

          Jensen frowned. “What?”

          “The lip ring. I can take it out if you don’t like it.”

          Jensen’s features relaxed and he smiled a little, shaking his head. “Jared. No. I like your lip ring.” He reached up and touched it with his thumb. “It’s unique. Interesting. I noticed it the first day I met you, and I liked it. Keep it in.”

          Jared ran his tongue along the inside of his lip, feeling the smooth metal there. “It doesn’t get in the way?”

          Jensen leaned down and kissed him again, knotting his fingers in the back of Jared’s hair and holding him close, keeping his lips firmly pressed to his until he pulled back. “No.” Jensen was smiling softly at him. “It doesn’t.” He kissed him again, more deeply this time. Jared fisted his hands in the material of Jensen’s shirt and pressed himself close, their chests touching. Jensen kept his fingers wound through Jared’s hair, sliding his other arm around Jared’s waist.

          Jensen didn’t think much about anything else when he bent his knees and hoisted Jared up, settling him on his hip without breaking their kiss. Jared looped his arms around Jensen’s neck and curled his legs around his waist, ignoring the dull aches from his bruises as he clung to him. Jensen carried him like that down the stairs into the basement where his room was, making sure to close and lock the door before carefully resting Jared on his bed. Jared was eager, pulling him on top of him as soon as he was within arms reach again, their lips colliding together.

          Jensen’s hand slipped under the material of Jared’s shirt, and Jared felt a shiver run through him at the feel of Jensen’s warm fingers on his flesh. He twined his arms around Jensen to pull him down closer to him, but suddenly Jensen was tugging away, and Jared felt a small twinge of fear. Had he done something wrong?

          Jensen frowned down at Jared, his gaze fixated on his hips instead of his face, and Jared suddenly knew what he was looking at. He wanted to curl in on himself and he felt the overwhelming urge to yank his shirt down so nobody could see ever again, but something kept him rooted in place as Jensen slowly reached down and grasped the hem of Jared’s shirt, tugging it up so the large purple bruise blossoming on Jared’s right hip where Lyle had gripped him was visible. Jared bit the inside of his cheek and looked away.

          “Where did you get this?” Jensen’s voice was filled with concern. Jared swallowed, holding himself up with his elbows and casting his eyes down without answering. Jensen’s worry grew, and he tentatively reached to begin undoing the buttons on Jared’s shirt. He pushed the fabric aside when the last one came undone, and his heart plummeted.

          Jared’s entire upper half was littered with dark purple marks, and Jensen wasn’t stupid; he knew they weren’t all just from a fight, either. He reached out and touched the littering of bite marks near Jared’s collarbone, glancing down at Jared’s hips where two large, thumb-shaped bruises were pressed into his skin, right on the spots it was easiest to grip.

          “Tell me this wasn’t rape,” Jensen choked out, lifting Jared’s chin with two fingers so that he looked at him. Jared quickly shook his head.

“No. No, it wasn’t rape. I swear.”

          Jensen heard the truth in the answer, and that almost made him feel worse. “Did you go looking for this, Jared? Did you ask this person to do this to you?”

          Jensen was surprised when Jared suddenly looked like he was about to cry. Jared squeezed his eyes shut and bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. “I just needed to feel something,” Jared said softly, scrubbing his face with the heels of his hands before any tears could fall. “I didn’t think about it, Jensen, it didn’t even occur to me that it would leave marks.” Jared thought for a minute, then he bit his lip and he shook his head, furrowing his brows without opening his eyes. “No,” he amended, curling his hands into fists, angry at himself now for saying that. “No, that’s a lie. I knew it would leave marks. I wanted it to leave marks. I just didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. They always faded before.” Jared opened his eyes and looked at Jensen almost pleadingly. “I didn’t think I would care that they were there, I didn’t think I would feel so bad about them. I’ve never cared before.”

          “Before?” Jensen asked, alarmed. Jared flinched a little and moved to cover himself, pulling his shirt closed and throwing his legs over the side of the bed, his fingers moving to close the buttons.

          “I’m sorry, Jensen. I didn’t mean for it to end up like this tonight. I’m sorry you had to see that. I know it’s not exactly pleasant. I can go. I’m sorry for interrupting your Christmas.” Jared lifted a hand and absently touched his lip ring, standing and shoving his hands into his pockets. “I know it’s probably a turnoff. I’m sorry. Usually people like them, or don’t really care about them. I should have known it would be different with you.” Jared turned to go, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, chewing incessantly. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his lip ring glinted as he turned towards the door.

          Quick as a whip, Jensen’s hand shot out and he grabbed Jared’s wrist, standing up and tugging him so that he faced him. Jensen’s hand curled around the back of Jared’s neck and held him tight, forcing him to look into his eyes.

          “Jared Padalecki.” Jensen’s voice was low, but his eyes were soft and filled with care. He cupped Jared’s face, feeling the smoothness of Jared’s cheeks below the pad of his thumb and the soft hairs at the nape of Jared’s neck tickling his fingers. He gazed at Jared with an intensity that caused Jared to swallow uncertainly, still chewing on his lip. “I don’t want you to leave.”

          “You don’t?”

          “I don’t want you to leave, ever,” Jensen said, searching Jared’s eyes. “Jared, if you’re hurting so bad to the point where you need to turn to someone else’s rough treatment in order to feel something, that’s bad. But I’m not going to judge you for it, and it doesn’t make me feel any different about you.” Jared looked down, and Jensen moved to tilt his head up again. “Hey.” Jared glanced back up. Jensen’s voice softened. “I’m not going to turn you away because of it. I’m going to be the person that makes it better.”

          With a certain air of finality, Jensen moved very quickly very suddenly, and before he could even register what was happening, Jared found himself scooped up and placed back on the bed. Jensen lifted up the hem of his shirt and glanced up at him to make sure that it was alright before he proceeded. Jared didn’t know what Jensen was planning on doing, but he didn’t make any move to stop him.

          Jensen tugged up Jared’s shirt so that his tummy was completely exposed, and the bruises on his hips were right in the open. Jared bit the inside of his cheek when Jensen bent his head down, not sure what to expect.

          Jensen leaned close to Jared’s hips and ran his thumb lightly over the bruise on his left hip, his eyes flicking up to see if the touch had hurt Jared. Jared only gazed at him, half confused and half aroused. Jensen smiled a little and leaned down, pressing his lips to the bruise, and Jared’s breath hitched a little. Jensen kept his head down, kissing all over Jared’s waist, making sure his lips found every dark mark marring Jared’s skin. He pushed Jared’s shirt up above his chest and kept going, eventually unbuttoning it to reach the bite marks littering his collarbones, kissing those too. Jared felt a little flutter inside him as he watched Jensen work, his hands resting around Jared’s middle and his head moving to find every bruise and every mark.

Jared reached down and pulled Jensen’s face up to eye level. Jensen touched Jared’s bottom lip where he’d chewed through the skin, his eyes softening as he leaned in to kiss Jared’s lips.

          “You don’t know what you’re getting into,” Jared murmured, his hands still holding Jensen’s face. Jensen reached up and closed his hand over Jared’s, twining their fingers together and pressing the back of Jared’s hand to his lips. He looked Jared in the eyes and smiled a little.

          “Yes, I do.” Jensen kissed the back of his hand, moving down to touch his lips back to Jared’s battered body, giving every mark a second kiss. Jared kept his palm resting on the back of Jensen’s head as he bent to kiss the bite marks around Jared’s chest, holding his middle. Jared’s tummy swooped as he watched, and his breath hitched.

          “I’m a mess,” Jared breathed. Jensen moved down, dragging his lips along Jared’s skin until he reached the next mottled patch. “You don’t know what you’re getting into,” Jared repeated, but he was watching Jensen with half-lidded eyes and parted lips, and his voice was hushed. “I lie. I drink. I sleep with men twice my age…” Jared trailed off as Jensen moved down to press his lips to Jared’s abused hips again, his big hands holding Jared still as his lips moved. Then, with a quick glance up to Jared, Jensen bent and flicked his tongue out, licking over the bruises, and Jared sucked in a breath. Encouraged, Jensen kept going, mouthing over Jared’s prominent hipbones, moving over to kiss and nip at Jared’s abdomen until he finally paused, his hands on the waistband of the jeans that still hung low on Jared’s waist, glancing up at Jared. Jared was watching him intently, his lips parted and his breaths shallow, and he gave Jensen a quick nod. Jensen hooked his fingers under the fabric and tugged down. Jared lifted his hips off the bed to make it easier to push his jeans off his legs, and he slipped his open shirt off his shoulders as well until he was sprawled naked on Jensen’s bed.

          Jensen crawled over him and pressed his lips to Jared’s, knotting his fingers in Jared’s hair and pulling his head up towards him, kissing him hard. Jared held himself up with his elbows and kissed him back, their tongues tangling together. Jensen reached down to palm Jared’s erection, wrapping his fingers around it and stroking the underside once. Jared pulled away from Jensen’s lips to let out a low moan, tilting his head back. Jensen crooked a small smile and bent down, flicking out his tongue to lick at the slit of Jared’s cock, and Jared had to bite his lip to stifle the noise that threatened to escape him.

          “Oh, God, Jensen,” he groaned, his breaths coming in short pants, and he moaned loudly as Jensen wrapped his lips around his cock. Jared watched through slitted eyes, his hips bucking automatically as Jensen swallowed him as deeply as he could, his nose pressing into Jared’s abdomen and his tongue swirling around the underside of his cock. Jared whimpered a little, throwing his head back as Jensen started to move his head up and down, making deliciously obscene slurping noises, until he pulled off with a wet pop. “Jensen,” Jared panted, wanting to return the favor, drag Jensen out of his clothes and sink down onto his cock, but before he could demand Jensen let him, Jensen was sticking his own fingers in his mouth, slicking them up until they were dripping with his saliva. Jared’s breathing was shallow as Jensen reached down and circled his rim with his index finger before pushing in both fingers, and Jared could only manage a choked off moan as Jensen scissored his fingers around inside him.

          “Feel good?” Jensen asked, his voice low and husky, and there was an air of genuine curiosity in his words, like he really did want to make sure it felt good. Jared nodded, his eyes fluttering shut and his hands fisting in the sheets, and Jensen smiled a little, crooking his fingers inside Jared and leaning to lick at his cock, and with that Jared cried out and came, milky ropes of come splattering over his stomach and chest. Jensen cursed and fumbled with his zipper, yanking out his cock and stroking it a few times before he spilled over his hand with a moan.

          Jensen scooted up so he was lying side by side with Jared and lay there for a minute, both their pants mingling together. Jensen flopped his arm over his head so it rested on the pillow and let out a long breath, laughing a little and looking over at Jared. Jared was quiet, and for a moment Jensen was worried he’d made a huge mistake. Then Jared turned on his side and wrapped his arms around Jensen’s middle, nuzzling his head into Jensen’s chest. Jensen felt a warm rush of affection for him and wrapped his arm around Jared’s shoulders. They stayed there, unmoving, listening to each other breathe, until Jared spoke, his voice soft.

          “Thank you, Jensen.”                 

          Jensen didn’t say anything, but he leaned down and kissed the top of Jared’s head, pulling him in tighter.

          Outside, fat snowflakes fell, coating the ground in layer after layer of thick white powder, the night sky dark and the stars covered with gray clouds that stretched over the world for miles. The air was quiet, the neighborhood going dark as it got late and people began turning in to sleep, until the only light was the thousands of tiny bulbs on the strings of Christmas lights wrapping around front porches and shrubbery in front of a hundred houses, the little bulbs glowing bright in the dark and offering a warm welcome to the new day as the sun began to rise and the sunlight was filtered dimly through the layers of clouds shrouding the sky. The dawn of Christmas Eve was a peaceful one.


	8. Chapter 8

          Jared spent Christmas Eve with Jensen and the girls, chasing Caitlin and Rebecca around the house playing tag and agreeing to play house, laughing out loud and putting his dimples on full display as they jumped and tackled him, rolling around on the carpet with them as Jensen baked cookies in the kitchen, smiling into the other room and feeling his heart swell as he watched Jared with his girls. Jared huddled with the girls in the playroom, organizing a mission to steal a bite of cookie dough, and when Jensen’s back was turned he and the girls leaped into action, dipping a spoon into the mix and bolting away as Jensen shouted at them, managing to whack Jared lightly over the head with a plastic spoon as he and the girls made their escape, giggling the whole way.

          Later, Jensen asked Jared to watch the girls while he went out. “I have a couple of errands to run,” he said, and Jared had shrugged and nodded.

          Jensen didn’t come back until four or five hours later, and by then Jared had been worrying. When he heard the garage door close and Jensen walked in, Jared ran at him, throwing his arms around Jensen’s neck. “Jesus,” Jared breathed, pulling away, his eyes hurt and his voice wobbly. “I thought you’d decided to bolt on me.” He bit his lip and reached up, twisting his lip ring. Jensen cupped his jaw and kissed him, slow and sweet.

          “Jared. Of course not. I’m sorry. It took a little longer than I thought it would.”

          “What did?” Jared asked. Jensen didn’t answer, instead hefting the grocery bags he was carrying and setting them on the counter in the kitchen, pulling out the contents and beginning to put them away.

          “Hey, Caitlin, Rebecca, could you come help me put the groceries away?” Jensen called into the playroom. The girls emerged, clutching their worn-out dolls.

          “We were playing dress-up with Jared!” Caitlin told Jensen excitedly, setting her doll down to help. Jensen glanced over at Jared and raised an eyebrow, a grin spreading on his face. Jared blushed a little and shrugged.

          “Hey, it was their idea,” he protested, running a hand through his hair. Jensen laughed a little and put another box of cereal into the pantry.

 

***

 

          “We should put milk out, too,” Caitlin said, putting the plate of cookies down on the coffee table in front of their tree.

          “What if he doesn’t come until later though? The milk will get warm,” Rebecca objected, absently combing her fingers through her doll’s tangled hair as she sat comfortably on the couch by the fireplace. The light from the fireplace flickered, casting an orange glow around the room, and Caitlin stuck her lip out thoughtfully.

          “What are cookies without milk, though?” she said, holding an empty glass in her hand uncertainly. “Jared, what do you think?”

          Jared looked up from his place on the other couch, where he was snuggled up against Jensen’s side, playing with their tangled fingers. “I think that Santa would drink the milk whether it was warm or not,” he answered, rubbing his chin as if deep in thought. “Maybe we should leave out some carrots, too. For the reindeer.”

          Rebecca and Caitlin both gasped. “Good idea!” Caitlin exclaimed, and she and Rebecca ran from the room to get the carrots and the milk. Jensen chuckled a little, stroking Jared’s hair back with his fingers.

          “You’re so good with them.”

          “I like them,” Jared said simply. “They’re good girls. You’re a good guardian.” Jensen kissed Jared, his nails scratching lightly at his scalp, and Jared let out a small sigh of contentment. The bruises on his hips were fading.

          The girls ran back in and fussed over the arrangement of the plate and the cookies until Jensen coughed and looked pointedly at the clock. “It’s getting late, girls,” he said, not unkindly. “Santa won’t come unless you go to sleep, remember?”

          “We’re going! Come on, Rebecca,” Caitlin said, grasping her sister’s hand and tugging her towards the stairs. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, turning back and running to Jensen, giving him a big hug. “Night, Jensen,” she said, and then to Jared’s surprise, she wrapped him in a hug, too. “Night, Jared.” Rebecca followed her sister’s example and gave them both big hugs as well before both girls bolted upstairs.

 

          Jensen and Jared stayed cuddled on the couch for a few moments, Jensen’s arm around Jared’s shoulders as they silently watched the fire. It was a comfortable silence, and Jared rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder. “Jensen.” Jared spoke softly. Jensen turned his head a little to look down at Jared.

          “Yeah?”

          Jared hesitated. “Thank you,” he said finally, pressing himself closer to Jensen and closing his eyes. “Thank you for this. For everything.” He smiled a little without opening his eyes. “I feel happy.”

          Jensen held him tighter, turning his head and pressing a kiss to Jared’s temple. “Hey,” he said gently, pulling his arm away. “What do you say we put the presents under the tree for the girls? Before the milk gets warm.” There was a teasing note in his voice, and Jared nodded, smiling a little.

          They arranged the presents carefully under the tree, and Jensen was impressed at how artfully Jared presented them, tucking them around in a neat little display of colorful wrapping. They shared the cookies, dipping them in the milk and feeding each other bites, tasting the sugar on their tongues and laughing softly so as not to wake the girls. Soon the plate was reduced to crumbs and the milk was just a thin layer on the bottom of the glass.

          The hollows of Jared’s cheeks were outlined in the flickering light of the fire, his skin giving off an orange glow and his dimples shadowed as he smiled at Jensen, licking his lips to get the taste of sugar off. Jensen felt a warm rush of affection for him, this boy that he had met not even a month ago. Jensen reached over and took Jared’s hands, and Jared glanced up at him to meet his eyes, traces of the smile still lingering on his face and mixing with curiosity.

          “Jared.” Jensen’s voice was gentle, and he squeezed Jared’s hands, slipping his fingers in Jared’s. Jared gazed at him, and Jensen pulled his fingers up to his lips, kissing the back of Jared’s hand. “I have something for you.”

          The smile slipped from Jared’s face. “You got me a present?” Jared bit the inside of his cheek. “Jensen, I didn’t get anything for you…”

          “I wasn’t expecting you to,” Jensen said softly. “This is sort of different.”

          Jared waited, and Jensen turned and reached under the couch, pulling out a stack of papers. He turned back to Jared, his expression serious.

          “Jared, I know we haven’t known each other for very long at all.”

          Jared sat still, his hands twined together on his lap, listening to Jensen speak. “I don’t know you as well as I’d like to yet, and the same is true of you. But I know some things.” Jensen cleared his throat a little, almost nervously, Jared thought. His voice was gentle. “I know that you’re an incredible artist. I know that you have a sweet, sensitive side. I know that you are extremely kind to my sisters. I know that something inside of you hurts, and you think nothing can make it go away except more hurt because you’ve never had someone to show you that healing can be an option.” Jared’s face didn’t change as Jensen spoke, but he felt a pang as he heard that part. Jensen took a deep breath and gripped the stack of papers, anxious now, not sure how to say this next part. “I’m not going to pretend that I’ve known you your whole life. I’m not going to pretend I know everything you’ve been through.” Jensen swallowed and shuffled the papers. “Jared,” he said finally, “I want you to join my family. I want you to come and live with me and my sisters, eat breakfast with us, laugh with us, play board games with us, go on trips with us. I want you to be a part of this family.” He shifted, looking down at his lap, not wanting to see Jared’s expression just yet, fearing he would be disappointed. He took a deep breath. “These papers are from the foster home. I’m sorry I was gone so long earlier. That’s where I went. I want to adopt you, Jared. I want to make you a part of this family.”

 

          Jensen chanced a glance up, his heart in his throat. Jared was completely still. He stared at Jensen, his jaw slack, his eyes wide, and Jensen swallowed hard. “I mean, it’s only if you want,” Jensen said quickly, stammering a little. “I understand if you don’t want to come into this so quickly. We’ve barely known each other, after all, I don’t want to push anything on you that you don’t—” He was cut off as Jared lunged forward and collided his lips with Jensen’s, throwing his arms around his neck, and Jensen dropped the papers, wrapping his arms around Jared’s middle and kissing him back.

          “Yes,” Jared breathed when he pulled away, keeping his arms wrapped around Jensen’s neck. “Yes, Jensen, I would love to join your family, more than anything. You’ve made me happier than anyone I’ve ever met.” He pulled back a little, his eyes becoming worried for a moment. “Wait a minute. If you adopt me… doesn’t that mean that we can’t be together?”

          Jensen shrugged a little. “All adoption means is that you’re going to become a part of my family. It’s the same deal as marriage. I can adopt you as a partner if I want to. Who cares what they think or what their definition of adoption is? It’s not any of their business.” Jared’s features relaxed, and he leaned in to kiss him again, wrapping his legs around Jensen’s middle and closing his eyes.

          “Merry Christmas, Jensen,” he whispered. His heart felt like it was going to explode.

          “Merry Christmas,” Jensen whispered back.

          The room was warm and the fire flickered in the fireplace, casting honeyed light over the carpet as the two boys held each other, their foreheads pressed together and their eyes closed, one holding the other in his lap and rocking back and forth, the only noise the fire crackling and the wind outside, blowing snowflakes in a swirling circle. The strings of Christmas lights glowed brightly in the night, ready to welcome the morning, and the joys that would come with it.

 

 

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes: Thank you so much for reading! I was actually working on this for weeks before posting it all in one big session, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Just in time for Christmas :) have a wonderful holiday, everyone.


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